Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
