Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
