Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
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Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
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I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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