Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
