Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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