The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
