So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
