The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
