i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
