so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I supernannyed him into submission
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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