were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
