you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
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I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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