that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Text me some of your sweat
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
