areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
