Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It's never too late to be topless.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
