i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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