are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
