It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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