Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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