the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize