I've blown a few things in my day
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
