I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
