have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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