You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
