shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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