Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
