He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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