She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
