Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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