Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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