I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
