got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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