I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
