I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
