do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
All the doctor said was why
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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