you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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