Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Randomize
