You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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