the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
