drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
