he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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