Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
