I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize