Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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