Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
