I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
