The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
