Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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