New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
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Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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