i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Sorry about my life...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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