things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
