It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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