So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
