you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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