You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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