there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Randomize
