Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
