I skipped work to stalk him.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
