I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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